The Crime
by living on
Summary: I felt my eyes roll before I deadpanned at him. "I'm here on a date that my best friend set up for me because I have no life." KisaIta


The Crime

Summary: I felt my eyes roll before I deadpanned at him. "I'm here on a date that my best friend set up for me because I have no life." KisaIta

* * *

><p>I could never tell her 'no'. It has been my only fault for several, several years; thirteen to be precise. I would have like to think that I could tell her 'no' at anytime- however, the sensible voice inside my head always reminds me, in a rather harsh tone, that <em>'No, no you can't.'<em> Evil, intelligent, little voice.

Nevertheless, I still believe that if I had been in a non-intoxicated state of mind that I would have been able to deny her 'request'. Or, better yet, I could have walked out of her apartment, while being intoxicated, instead of answering her.

That… is an ingenious idea, why the hell didn't I think of that earlier?

Oh wait… because I am a stupid, klutzy drunk. Falling down her sixteen flights of stairs does not sound like fun.

And now I'm just a complete retard, judged from the scowl pulling at my lips and the fact that I am currently sitting across from my arch nemesis.

Pause that thought… and let me explain. My name is Uchiha Itachi. I am thirty-three and a Police Captain in the lovely city of Konaha; just like my father before me and my father's father before him. However, unlike my father, who loved his job, I have only agreed to take on my family tradition for my younger brother's sake. Sasuke, my brother, has always had a strange compassion for the 'arts'. I use the word strange because… that is the only verb I can use to describe his peculiar art form. I glance at all his creations with one eye closed and my head tilted upside down. Mother accepts his passion but refuses to look at anything he hands her; unless it's the butter tub at dinner. And father… well, Sasuke has learned to take everything he says with a grain of salt. I'm rambling… I made a deal with my father that if I could become a Police Captain before my twenty-fifth birthday, he would allow and help Sasuke to develop his talent to his full potential. Of course, my dear old father laughed in my face and agreed to my proposal. At twenty-three years, seven months, eight days, eleven hours and sixteen minutes old, I was promoted to my current position and my father, in complete humiliation, yanked my brother out of his police training and threw him into the best art school in the district. Eventually, like the Uchiha he is, Sasuke graduated top of his class with full honors and the teachers weeping at his feet. My little brother, within just a few weeks, turned into the Uchiha luminary I knew he could be and swiped up any fame I had gained with my promotion. I was relieved and… I'm getting off track again.

What was I suppose to be explaining? Let's see… oh, that's right, my arch nemesis, who is currently sitting across the table; my first criminal and the only stain on my record, Hoshigaki Kisame. As a young detective, I made a difficult decision, at the time I did not realize that it would come back to bit me in the ass. Hard and with pointy teeth. I allowed the petty purse snatcher to return to the street in order to catch a murder. It was not until three weeks after the so-called murder's trial that I learned that I had released a known crime boss back into the heart of beloved Konaha. That was the first night I learn how many bottles of sake could convince me that it was alright to lay with women I had never met. This is how I met Konan; part tramp, part therapist, and full time best friend.

And now, she is, apparently, my match maker. This is Sasuke's fault. I had agreed that he could bring his muse with us to go pick Konan up; I was taking her out to dinner after I dropped Sasuke off at the airport. My brother's muse is a rather unorthodox child named Uzumaki Naruto. He is sixteen, blond, loud, and has split personalities. Naru-chan is sweet and loving with a bad habit of sneaking into our house and crawling into bed with Sasuke. Mother does not approve; luckily, father has not found out yet. Kyuubi, as his second personality likes to be called, is rash and angry with a bad habit of convince Sasuke to do… things I _never_ want to see again. I have not the heart to confirm my mother's fear of what 'might' happen if Naru-chan continues to creep into Sasuke's room.

I, again, have fallen from the original debate; I do apologize and will try to stay on course.

When Konan got into the car, I introduced her to Naruto and then proceeded to take Sasuke to the airport. I know I blushed at the terminal when Naruto kissed my brother goodbye, and I should have realized that Konan would have caught a glimpse of my embarrassment. And of course, on our way to the restaurant, Konan just had to bring up the fact that Sasuke has a healthier sex life then me; and she would know… With all the talk about my love life, I sunk myself in a couple of bottles at her apartment. And of course, she just had to talk me into letting her find my perfect soul mate.

I must have been desperate.

Maybe I still am; after all, I know neither one of us has said a word to each other… but it's been fifteen minutes and I am still sitting across from Hoshigaki. I have not moved a muscle since I sat down across from him and, although he has taken several sip of his drink; he has not gotten up to leave. I don't want to seem wretched, but it would be nice to have someone other than my family, Naruto, Kyuubi and Konan to talk with. I can't remember the last time I had a decent conversation with my coworkers about anything not work related. I could try to play nice.

Or, maybe, I would not have to try at all; he might not recognize me. Last time I saw him eye to eye I was twenty, my wrinkles were awfully faint and I was in my uniform. Now… I look twice my age and I'm in just a plain pair of jeans and a cotton shirt; there is the possibility that he has no idea who I am. I didn't notice until I glanced at my glass that my lips were stretched into a sly smile. I would have to be cautious. "So…" I whispered softly, not wanting the booth behind us to hear my cleverness. "What's your name again?"

I never noticed how predatorily his gaze could be until his eyes fell in line with my own. They were such a light brown that they seemed to shine gold in the dimly lit restaurant. Why was I holding my breath? "The rules are no names, remember?" His voice echoed my softness.

"Oh." I heard myself take in a sharp breath of air. "You are right; however, I can't call you 'you' all night."

"Why not?" His head tilted like a child's would with child's curiosity.

I found myself watching his eyes for all and any of his movements. "Explain." I command, accidently. I have grown too use to being in charge of my troops and them obeying me without questions or hesitation.

He grinned lightly and leaned back in his chair comfortably. "Well, that didn't take long." He sipped his drink and then twisted the stem of the glass in between his finger tips. "So, what's the plan? It's Captain, now, correct?"

…Fuck, he does know who I am. "Plan?" I asked through tight lips, "What plan?"

"Oh, come on, how many boys do you have outside, hmm?" He hummed through his own lips, rather loosely at that.

I felt myself scowl angrily at him, and tighten my fist underneath the table. His gaze, once slightly playful, now was heavily watchful. He was calculating my movements, the bastard. My patience was already nonexistent, considering he had been running late, and then adding in the fact of who he was. I would say I wanted to strangle Konan, however there was a high possibility she did not know who this man was; therefore, I could not fault her. I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket and threw down enough bills to insure my part of the check would be cover before snatching my coat from the back of the chair.

"That's an interesting reaction."

I could hear the mockery in the comment; however, the slightest sound of bewilderment is what made me turn around. He seemed confident with his relax positioning and the glass held in between his thick fingers; but I didn't become the best by looking at the completed picture. Dissect a person was a natural response for me now- His fingers gripped the cup a little too tightly, his shoulders were too strongly in place and his eyes were rather… disappointed. "What do you want me to do?" I heard myself ask with too much desperation. I had been so hopeful that Konan could work some of her magic and find me my soul mate; so hopeful.

He gave me a strange look. I locked myself into his eyes, the only real way to figure out what he was thinking. Disappointment turned into confused curiosity then slowly morphed into a rather satisfying happiness. "Have a seat, Uchiha."

I winced at my surname, it reminded me too much of my father, and returned to my chair; laying my coat across my lap.

"Please." He added as if he had just realized he had commanded me to sit. His eyes sparkled with confusion.

"Are you surprised?" I asked suddenly. I knew I was practically thinking out loud, but at the moment I was so frustrated I could not help it. "I should go; we both know that this is not going to work."

He placed his glass down near the center of the table and leaned towards me, his elbows bracing him against the edge of the table. "I find it strange that you have doubts about your plan."

I had train extremely hard not to show any emotion during interrogations; however, it seemed that all my training was now washed down the drain. I felt my eyes roll before I deadpanned at him. "I'm here on a date that my best friend set up for me because I have no life." If the flatness of voice didn't break the news to him then, maybe, the fact that I then grabbed his drink and chugged half of what was left did.

His eyes were wide and he gently pulled the glass out of my hand. "Have you been getting enough rest, Uchiha?"

"Itachi." I snapped with a heated glare. Why the hell did I return to this table and sit down? "I hate being called by that over popularized, cursed last name." I needed to leave now, before I broke down in front of the man who almost destroyed all my hard work all those years ago. "I should go." I muttered, glancing away the gold that had been hypnotizing me. "I'm sure you have some drug deals to make or, you know, some prostitutes to bang." When did I get so vulgar? "I need to go sob and get drunk with Konan…" I stood up slowly, however I didn't even take a step away from the table when Hoshigaki snatch my hand.

I thought I knew better, but my eyes darted to his and I saw a very worried look on his face. "Konan? Blue haired, fair skinned, pierced lip Konan?"

I knew better, I knew better. "Yes?" I searched his face for an answer; however, all I could see was horror on his face.

"Konan… You are Konan's best friend?" He hissed quietly.

And instantly I could place the tone; the big brother tone. I squeezed his hand in mine as Konan's words from the other night raced through my head. _'I know the perfect guy… I've known him for a while and he's like you; workaholic and all that jazz. You both… I worry that he is going to always be alone; maybe, the two of you could trying being together.'_ She set me up with her brother… her brother was the black stain on my record! I couldn't believe this; she had made me swear to give him a proper chance. If I walked out… I would not only break my promise, but my best friend- my only friend's heart.

Shit.

I stared down at the dark hand holding mine and gave it another squeeze. "Yeah… the very same." My voice was weak, so weak.

"Shit." He groaned, releasing my hand and burrowing his face in his arms. He ran his fingers through his hair spastically before pulling his head up and looking at me carefully. He seemed haunted.

I felt this unnerving feeling to play good cop. "I'll tell her I didn't make it. Family emergency…"I told him my lie, my plan and I felt guilty.

He shook his head. "I can't let you do that." He motioned to the chair across from him.

I glanced at it and then turned back to him, avoiding his golden trap. "What, no honor among lairs?" I asked cynically.

"I promised to _try_." He whispered. His eyes glanced away from my stare. "She begged me to try."

That two faced, lying bitch. I am going to struggle her next time I see her; with my bare hands. She managed to make me feel guilty about not only breaking my promise to her but now her brother's promise was my burden as well. I sat down without a word and the two of us fell into an awkward silence. The waitress laid our meals in front of us and refilled Hoshigaki's drink before disappearing. The silence grew to china clicks and the sounds of shifting ice cubes. I refused to look up, my promise to Konan keeping me planted and my officer training keeping me silent. However, the silence made every motion completely noticeable. He moved slowly and perfectly timed; I never suspected him to be such a clean eater.

"So…" He was trying to start up a conversation? Was it not obvious that we were not the item either one of us sought? "Why did you join the po squad?"

I glanced up, clearly amused. "The _po squad_?" I asked softly, a smug of laughter on the tip of my tongue. He shrugged his shoulders lightly and the twinkle in his eyes returned. "It's the family business." Honesty is only my second best policy; after all, I am an officer of the law.

He rolled his eyes. "Other than that, Itachi." He moved his utensil in food in slow, meaningless circles.

His gold captured my gaze. "Why do you want to know?" I requested slowly, mindlessly twirling my utensil in my mouth. Until, that is, I caught him staring with a rather light blush forming on his cheek. I stopped immediately.

He glanced away and coughed lightly. After composing himself, I noticed he motioned with his hand as he explained. "You care more about the people then the results." I watched as he shifted; his brow wrinkled as he concentrated. I didn't know what exactly he was trying to figure out, but his process of thinking was, dare I say it, cute. "Your brother," He now had my attention. "Is an amazing artist. It's a pure gift, what he is capable of doing; however, he has a bit of an ego. You… you were the one that made sure he had the chance to develop, aren't you?"

My lower back stiffened. I had never told anyone of the situation that had surrounded my brother; not even Konan. I stared hard at Hoshigaki. "What are you saying?" I was fridge.

His hands rose up in defense, open palm towards me. "I just want to let you know that I have always admired you for that." His hands disappeared below the table. "You must really treasure your little brother."

"Who told you that?" I was turning livid, what had happened was a family matter. It was no business of a stranger; especially a major crime boss.

His eyes seemed to grow ancient and he shrugged lightly, again. "I get around." He said carefully. "I might have just happened to sit down beside him a few years ago at a bar…"

My chair flew from behind me and I reached for him. No one, and I mean no one, puts my little brother in peril; I have worked too long and too hard for him to be put in danger's way. Strangely enough, I slipped and grasp missed completely; even so, I did not hit the ground. Instead, I found myself facing Hoshigaki's chest, his hands on my shoulders and mine, somehow, slipped around his neck. My face was burning and I could feel the entire restaurant's gaze on me; although none of them were was strong as the eyes that stared at me from below. I breathed deeply and buried my face in the man's shirt, trying and failing to hide.

Warm breath brushed against my ear and I felt the vibrations from Hoshigaki's voice as he asked me. "Are you hurt?"

I felt paralyzed and jumpy at the same time; I was starting to feel nauseous. "No." I wanted to go home, or at least, get out of here.

"You are too warm, Itachi."

How am I supposed to response to that?

"Sirs are you okay?" Oh great, the waitress has returned. I was limp. I wanted to leave.

"Yeah, sorry about that; he's been feeling under the weather lately." Silver tongued bastard breathed the words without any hesitation. I felt him slip one arm underneath my legs and the other behind my lower back before he began to cradle me to his chest. I turned my face away from the crowd and pushed it against the left side of Kisame's chest. I never have felt so utterly helpless as he lifted me up from the ground without as much as a deep breath. "I should take him home," He said rather kindly, "Could you get me the check while I go to place him in the lobby."

I didn't bother to try to figure out what the woman's response had been; instead I clung to Kisame's shirt with tighten fists. "You better actually pay her." I said with a scowl, it was easier for me to be angry and rude when I am feeling poorly.

I practically felt Kisame smile down at me as he gave me a gently squeeze and retorted with a, "Of course, mom." My suspicions were confirmed when he laid me down on the lobby's couch and I got an eye full of his ear to ear grin. "Don't worry, officer, I pay all of my bills." He teased sweetly; intoxicatingly.

Suddenly, as I am not sure what exactly came over me, I pulled him down by the neck and kissed his lips quickly; before, hissing through clamped teeth, "If I find out that you have drugged me…"

I heard a small chuckled as a whisper reached my ears. "I believe you are the one who has poisoned me." He pushed his lips back to mine for a second before pulling away. "One moment." He grunted as he left.

I catch myself watching him leave and threw an arm over my face; I knew better. What the hell was I thinking? He was a crime boss and I was a police captain! What would my brother sa- no, oh fuck, what would my parents say? My mother already was cross with because she found out that Konan was a tramp… What do I care? I'm thirty-three, I'm scarred, I'm battered, and I'm wrinkled. I'll never be able to find an actually lover who will be able to put up with my antics, I'll never find anyone who genuinely finds me attractive… I'm doomed to one night stands and Konan for the rest of my life.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of all the negative thoughts, only to begin to feel nauseous again. I groaned out loud and pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I don't want to think about anything anymore. Blank, empty thoughts would be nice. Blank and empty.

It was warm, I was extremely comfortable and oddly, I felt secure. However, that loud beeping in the background was completely unbearable. Whoever was calling me was not going to be happy when I got off the phone with them. I didn't even hesitant to snatch the beeping machine from the night stand, hit the small green button and shove the device up to my ear. "Don't you say a fucking word. It's Sunday morning at," I yanked the phone away from my ear just long enough to notice the time before going back to chewing ass, "five fucking thirty. Unless you accidentally shot the God damned mayor, I don't want you or anyone else to mother fucking breath in my direction. You got that milk dick?"

The line was dead quiet for a moment and then a rather thick accent that I couldn't place asked, "Boss? You kinda sound whiny."

I yanked the phone away from my ear and stared at the unfamiliar device in shock. This was not my phone and I sure as hell did not recognize the voice or the number. Luckily for me, I guess, a dark hand pulled the phone away from my grasp. I followed the thick fingers, twisting my back to glance behind and found myself face to face with Kisame.

He smiled gently to me and kissed my cheek so kindly. "Ivanov, can I call you back in a couple of hours?" His voice was commanding with a hint of familiarity. He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded, his brow twitching. "Twins? Shit, how long will you be go- Ivanov! Family first, dumbshit." He nodded again, his brow relaxed and I found his stare on me. "No worries, I have the rookies. Yeah, they can get the job done. Tell Olga congrats for me."

I felt my breath shake as Kisame clicked the off button for the phone before leaning past me and placing it down on the night stand. "I'm… I'm so sorry." I whispered uncomfortably. My trembling was beginning to spread to the rest of my body.

Kisame's hands cupped my face and he pressed his lips to my forehead. "Breath, 'Tachi, breath. No harm done, no harm done." His breath was warm against my head and I started to feel light headed.

With the pattern of his breathing, eventually I calmed down enough to push him away. He let me glance around at my surroundings and even scooted farther back so I would be slightly more comfortable. "Where am I?" The bed I was sitting on was firmer than mine and too soft to be Konan's. The walls were yellow with age and had places where the paint was missing.

Without missing a beat he replied. "Two blocks south of the police station on Third Street." He watched with twinkling eyes and a light grin.

I didn't feel uncomfortable with his eyes on me and I was glad that I was wearing the same clothes from the previous night. "Nothing happened?" I asked confidently, but for some reason, I could not meet his eyes. My hands mindlessly straightened the sheets around my knees.

"Nothing. You had passed out at the restaurant."

I glanced at him and my cheeks began to burn, he was shirtless. He grinned wickedly and I immediately scowled him. "You could have placed me on the couch." I told him crossly; although, I am not sure why, considering I am delighted to learn he most likely held me through the night.

My faux anger made him grin like a candy receiving child and before I could stop him, he wrapped an arm around my upper shoulders and kissed me tenderly. I allowed him to pull me into his chest as he laid us back down and pulled the covers over my shoulders. "Go back to sleep, love."

I scoffed as I cuddled up to his chest. "I am not your love." Then I added as an afterthought, "And just so you know, Monday at eight a.m. I'm bringing your ass in."

He hummed sweetly through his intoxicating lips. "I'll make sure to be ready; but for now, good night, 'Tachi."

I felt myself blissfully smile, the warmth was so inviting. "Good night, Kisame." I whispered muffled against his bare chest. His fingers combing through my hair soothingly was my only response.

I needed to take Konan out to lunch and give her a stern talk about setting me up with criminals…

Then again, I might just have to thank her, if not for a lover, at least for a decent night's rest.

-End-

Word length 4,204

Date: 08/18/11


End file.
